My Thoughts on Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

To ab-lib Senator Padmé Amidala: "This is how cinematography dies, with thunderous applause."

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of the Hammer To Strike The Final Nail In The Coffin WHAM! Lid is secured, franchise is laid to never ending unrest five films down, and I'm not the only fan throwing in a handful of dirt with tears in their eyes. The people praising this movie are the same who two years ago and still to this day absolute despise the previous installment of The Last Jedi, but only because Disney has bent over backwards to sooth the hurt butts, eyes, and ears of that small but very vocal minority by having this movie be one huge apologetic step back, and erasure cake, with an insane extra thick layer of what they considered "fanservice" frosting. I use the the word cinematography in my opening ad-libbed quote cause as it's definition applies it is the art/science of motion-picture making, cause what I saw in theaters on December 20th was a mockery of cinema, and I damn well may say an insult to the intelligence of the vast majority of  people who cherish Star Wars as something more than the multimedia profit generating business property Disney treats it as, but more akin to long time friend or close supportive family member that's always there for them.

The credits say this travesty was "directed" by J.J. Abrams, but I saw little to none of Abrams directorial style in the presentation, what I believe transpired was J.J. was brought on board and paid a truck load of money to attach his name to the yet unassemebled garbage scow as step one in Operation: Please Stop Hating Us with "Hey! lLook we brought back the guy you said made the first one great!". Then they throw away previous chosen director Colin Trevorrow's screenplay, and give poor Abrams very little to no time to write his own, which made the daunting task of trying to come up with an ending to not only the sequel trilogy, but the whole nine part saga, so he had to steal some stuff from the Trevorrow outline, some unused ideas of his own, and have it build off where Rian Johnson left the narrative, and incorporate which I'm sure was a whole checklist of executive level mandatory inclusions. I don't know who's idea it was, but they then bring in writer Chris Terrio to help and rewrite, and if you don't know who that is, and why it's such a huge red flag why Rise of Skywalker is going down as flaming wreckage, it is the same guy who wrote the stories for Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Justice League for Warner Bros., and I don't have to tell you those two films were also malign messes of near uncomprehension that also wildly divided a fan base.

Just like my Last Jedi post from two years ago, I can not sit down and properly review this film on just the merits of the actors and story details, because honestly none of that stands out in this mangled Frankensteined togethered corpse. This is truly the first movie to stand mostly on the shoulders of just the new characters, and it showcases just how thinly written, and how uncohesive the new group of leads are even after two previous films. I do not blame the actors at all, they are working with what they are given, and contractually forced to give their best, and that is what is on display here behind and in front of the camera is the always hanging pressure of obligation, be it real or perceived that greatly hinders the acclimation of not just this movie, but the entire sequel trilogy.

I know this all sounds super negative, but I assure you I don't hate this movie, I am just extremely disappointed in it, and frustrated with the whole handling of  the Star Wars movie franchise since Disney acquired the rights. I use this blog to vent that frustration, and to let other fans know that I feel the same anguish, but also perhaps let others know some the behind the scenes circumstances that contributed to this underwhelming mediocrity. My personal ranking of the films will forever be The Original Trilogy in release order, to The Prequel trilogy release order, to Sequel Trilogy release order, and if you want to throw in the one-shot story movies then Rogue One is better than the prequels and would hold 4th place, then while I don't know if Rise of Skywalker is better or worst than Solo, so they can both hold the title of less favorite Star Wars movie of all of time, yes I said it: Rise of Skywalker is on par with Solo as a theatrical experience.

1. STAR WARS
2. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
3. RETURN OF THE JEDI
4. ROGUE ONE
5. THE PHANTOM MENACE
6. ATTACK OF THE CLONES
7. REVENGE OF THE SITH
8. THE FORCE AWAKENS
9. THE LAST JEDI
10. THE RISE OF SKYWALKER / SOLO

Absolute Top 10 Favorite Movies of All Time

Aliens (1986)

"We're on an express elevator to Hell, going down!" 

Why James Cameron's action movie over Ridley Scott's original space horror masterpiece you may ask, what can I say; I'm an action movie guy. To this day I quote it daily, and the sounds of M41A Pulse Rifle and Smart Guns overwhelm me with nostalgic euphoria. Thanks to the Alien franchise and her role in the two Ghostbusters movies Sigourney Weaver was a childhood crush of mine and even now I still admire her, and to me she is the ideal strong female actress that paved the way for others.

Aliens with huge part of my childhood because of the toy line by Kenner in the early 90's, I still have them all, and as a kid I would spread them all out as I watched the movie and recreate scenes with the figures. I remember in 1992 when the special edition with 17 more minutes of footage came out, and I beg my parents to get it on Pay-Per-View so I could see it. Favorite scene would have to be Ripley fighting the Queen Alien with the Power Loader.

Ghostbusters (1984)

"When someone ask if you're a God, you say Yes!"

A movie that ruled my life for a very long time, literally it was in the VCR every day, a film that had me seriously considering a career in Parapsychology. Ghostbusters came out just as I was born, and had to be one of the very first movies I ever fully paid attention to as a toddler, that and along with The Real Ghostbusters cartoon and toy line has made me a Ghostbusters fan for life. Every actor is at their comedic best, forever cementing all of them as life long favorites whose acting careers I would always follow.

The special effects by Entertainment Effect Group still hold up to this day, and are still frightening and more believable then anything CGI can do nowadays. I also love Ghostbusters II, I was 5 when it came out, and I was there in the drive-in watching it on the big screen, and don't see why others hate it and give it a bad rap, I always watch both back to back. Favorite scene is a hard choice between their first call at the Sedgewick Hotel and the final battle with Gozer and The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, but I'll have go with the final battle, I love final battles. 

Independence Day (1996)

 "Now that's what I call a close encounter."

Roland Emmerich is one of my favorite directors, I loved Universal Soldier and Stargate, and after seeing the trailers for ID4 I knew I would be there for his latest work. My Aunt took me to see this while I was visiting her that summer of '96, I still remember her jumping out of her seat when Dr. Okun was slammed against the glass. To me this is one of the most patriotic movies ever, and I always try to watch it every 4th of July, and man did it fuel my dreams to be an U.S. Air Force fighter pilot and fly an F-18.

Astounding and breath-taking use of miniature, and model practical special effects, and one of the last films to really build a movie around them before the abundant use of CGI became the go-to for special effects. I only ever got one ID4 toy, the giant 12 inch tall Alien Supreme Commander figure by Trendmasters. Favorite scene, hand's down is President Whitmore's speech, gets me all riled up every time.

Jurassic Park (1993)

 "You think they'll have that on the tour?"

Oh yeah, this movie was aimed perfectly for me and my younger brother, we saw it at the drive-in, we had the toys, the bed sheets, the curtains, the t-shirts, the lunch boxes, and of course got the VHS when it came out and watched it over and over, again and again. To this day I still roar with the T-Rex, that roar to me is one of the greatest movie sound effects ever to come out of Hollywood. This movie along with another on this list were among the first motion pictures to utilize CGI, and despite decades since still hold up magnificently.

Steven Spielberg's always on the move adventure directing, John William's always soaring musical score with Stan Winston Studio's animatronic creations is cinema magic for all ages and for all time. First movie where I learned some movies are based on books, which began me collecting books that were adapted to film, and book adaptions of my favorite movies. Favorite scene is the entire T-Rex escape, the ripples in the water, the epic roar, the flare, amazing history making suspense.

The Matrix (1999)

"Don't think you are, know you are."

What is The Matrix? Oh, it just about one of the best damn sci-fi action movies of all damn time. It's not just the fighting and gun battles, but I love how every word spoken in this movie is perfectly and purposely said, there is no wasted time or dialog. This movie changed how I looked at the world at age 15, when Morpheus was teaching Neo he was also educating me. "Adaptation and improvisation", "Don't think you are, know you are", "Free your mind" are all quotes I took to heart and try to live by in my day to day life. 

The Wachowskis' masterfully gave us a truly cerebral exploration of what is destiny?, what is control?, what is freedom?, What is reality, but with a whole lot of bullets and kicking. Then there's Don Davis' orchestra meets techno soundtrack that drives this movie and sells this futuristic rebellion in every scene. Favorite scene is the subway fight between Neo and Agent Smith, closet we will ever get to live-action anime brawling.

Predator (1987)

"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

I am a huge Arnold Schwarzenegger fan, my absolute favorite action movie star of all time, I've seen, love, and own every one of his movies. Where do I begin with this movie, great one liners, 80's action, 80's actors at their best, one of the greatest alien creature and costume designs of all time, this movie has it all. Like every movie on this list I can't even fathom a guess of how many times I have watched this movie in my life, never gets old.

John McTiernan's always moving camerawork along with Alan Silvestri's haunting and looming score makes you feel like you being hunted as well. Another 80's movie that had a 90's toy line, albeit as a sub-line to Kenner's Aliens figures, no human commandos to fight, but cool variations of Predators. Favorite scene is Dutch taking on the Predator, from the most epic manliest man yell of all time to the final Predator laugh.

Robocop (1987)

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me." 

Yes, I saw alot of violent action movies at a very young age, but it was the late 80's we didn't have PG/PG-13 super heroes to grab our attention like today's kids do, we had science fiction, and Sci-Fi in the 80's was Sci-Fi/Action. To me Robocop was a super hero movie complete with his origin story combined with a futuristic take on an old western lawman revenge story. Peter Weller became another one of my favorite actors, and I am truly amazed at the difficulty he endured and went through filming in the metal and rubber costume to bring us this awesome movie.

At the same time Paul Verhoeven film isn't just a shoot'em up but also a dark mirror for humanity and technology and with it how media and business entrenching in to everyone's lives is not for our own betterment but other's financial gain. On top of the movie I also watched the Robocop animated series and had the Robocop and The Ultra Police toys, and I still got my cap firing Robocop figure. Favorite scene, to pick just one would have to be the raid on the drug warehouse with Robocop blowing away every criminal and ending with Robo throwing Boddicker through all the glass windows.

Star Wars (1977)

 "I want to learn the ways of The Force, and become a Jedi like my father."

I love Star Wars! I love absolutely all things with those two words on them, the entire multimedia franchise. It all started with the original 1977 release, everything that is the core building blocks of the galaxy far, far away was laid down in this 121 minute masterpiece. I love Star Wars above The Empire Strikes Back, while Empire may have the darker story and tighter narrative, I truly believe Wars stands as superior in that coming of age and choosing one's destiny tale of Luke Skywalker, and with him at the same time we learn of the universe outside him far off planet, his father, and The Force.

Every spoken line isn't just dialog between characters it's world building lore, every character has depth, a past, and reasons for doing what they're doing. In 1995 Kenner release the Power of The Force 2 line, and I could finally recreate my favorites scenes with 3 3/4 inch action figures, and have my own light-up Lightsaber. Favorite scene is the attack on the Death Star, Luke finds what he wants to do with his life, puts his piloting skills to the test with Darth Vader on his ass, and the fate of the Rebellion in his hands.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

"Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."

Cowabunga! The original Ninja Turtles cartoon aired when I was close to 4 years old, so a couple of years later when I found they were making a live-action movie, I. LOST. MY. SHIT! The hyper realistic costumes, the subtle humor, the dark narrative, every one amazing brought to life was and still is adaptation perfection to me. It wasn't 'til a little bit later when I started getting in to comics, did I realize the Turtles were a black and white independent comic book first, and that the movie was an adaption of those first few issues mixed with element from popular cartoon. 

Alot of the credit for this film's success really has to go to puppeteer extraordinaire Jim Henson and his Creature Shop special effects team, if the Turtles themselves didn't look and move as real as they did, the movie couldn't of been made or worst, could of been a terrible mess of a flop. I of course had tons of the Playmates Turtle action figures, though they didn't make figures that looked like they did in the movie until the next movie came out. Favorite scene? You guessed it, the final rooftop battle with The Shredder.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

"Hasta la vista, baby!"

This is it, this is my absolute #1 favorite movie of all damn time, forever. I grew up watching the original Terminator on late night tv sci-fi marathons, so when I started seeing they were making a sequel I knew I had to be there for the next chapter of a story I never dreamed they could add more to. In July 1991, my uncle brought me to small Downtown San Diego theater, and to say I was blown away is an understatement. In May 1977 kids were amazed at the never before spectacle of cutting edge special effect on the big screen with Star Wars, I know exactly how those kids felt, because Terminator 2 is "My Star Wars", that one movie that is the bar by which all other movies are compare to.

The use of seamless integrated CGI, state-of-the-art make-up effect, and animatronics is a pivotal milestone in cinema achievement. To me this is James Cameron's Magnum Opus, this is his apex movie, he has truly earned his place as a visionary creator god. Kenner again having the foresight to make toys based on an R movie did so and gave me an army of variations of the T-800 to protect John Conner, fight the T-1000, or fight each other. My favorite scene you ask? How about the entire last part of the movie from the second the T-1000 jumps in to the helicopter, to the freeway chase, to the steel mill, Hasta la vista baby, thinking T-1000 is finished, brutal Terminator combat, to the final thumbs up.